Among the heart break that our family has endured these last few weeks, I have also realized just how much good there is in the world. In peoples hearts and souls. People that don't even know us personally have come out of the woodwork and supported us beyond anything we could have dreamed. They have sent Christmas gifts to our boys and us, meals to our house, raised money for our family so that we have have a happy holiday despite our little girl only being with us in spirit. Our friends continue to reach out daily to ask what they can do to help. My coworkers held my hand when I fell apart upon my return to work. We're truly blessed to have each and every one of you in our lives. You have helped make what would have been a very difficult Christmas a bit merrier, and I am so thankful.
My New Years Resolution isn't going to be a cliche one. Lose weight. Eat healthier. Drink less. My resolution, once I have gotten myself into a place where I am healthy enough to do so, is to give back. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is that no one can go through tragedy alone. Everyone needs a hand to hold. I want to be that hand. I want to put a smile on a face that hasn't had one in days, because I know what that feels like.
My sweet baby girl, how I wish you were here with me. How I wish we had been able to spend this Christmas together. I know you are watching over me, holding my heart and helping me survive this. Please continue to do so. I need your guidance every day. Some days, when I can't carry myself, I need God to carry me and I know you're right there with him. I love you and miss you so much.